Archive | November 2016

Your World According to Should

should-i

 

(when trying to create a Vision for your life)

It may be necessary for you to relax your ideas about what you think a vision should be.

As you’ve probably realized by now, “should” places a heavy burden upon the shoulders of the person wearing its cloak, a burden that will never be lifted because the wearer keeps allowing things to be added to the pile. One thing to realize about all the “shoulds” in your life: they always come from a source outside your True Self. Your “Still Small Voice” will never tell you what you should do – it’s much more direct than that (if you’re listening to it). It tells you what TO DO.

If you have lived your life according to the “shoulds” of society, family, friends, co-workers, and peers, how might you be feeling right now? A bit overwhelmed? At a loss where to turn or what to do next? Out of control? Anxious? Depressed? Like, if it weren’t for the awesome responsibility your “shoulds” have created, you would just hang it all up (either by just walking away or perhaps, drastically speaking, suicide)? “Suicide by Should” is not the way to go.

You hurt yourself and limit your real abilities when you take on the responsibility of “should.” It creates an expectation you can’t possibly live up to, and then, when you don’t quite measure up, you have “failed.” Is there anything worse than the sense of failure instilled by an unfulfilled “should”? Family and friends are disappointed. Grade cards and annual reviews are not quite as glowing as they “should” have been. Even worse is that deep sense of regret, shame, and guilt – perhaps even anger – you may feel inside when you realize you just can’t cut it, according to “should.”

Then someone comes along and informs you that you “shouldn’t” let this or that have control over you. I trust nowhere in this book will you find a sense of you “should” do this or “shouldn’t” do that. No expectations are being imposed upon you from this side of the page – hopefully, only practical advice and guidance as to how to regain control of your life.

Anytime you feel “out of control” or unable to handle the things happening in your life, it’s because you either haven’t created a vision for your life that you’re committed to, or you’ve lost sight of it somewhere along the way because of some sense of “should” that you’re trying to follow. No matter what kind of trouble you’re having in your life, you can probably trace it back to the basic concept of a vision, or lack thereof. This brings you back again to “visionizing” your life.

But where do you begin?

It may be helpful as you pursue or peruse this vision concept if you simply suspend judgment for the duration. Let go of the “shoulds.” Let go of your expectations and preconceived ideas. It matters little how far you are on the spiritual path compared to your neighbor or your Sunday school teacher or your dad when he was this age. Refrain from judging yourself by any standard. Simply let loose and let go of all the inflexible ideas you’ve held about where you “should” be by now.

(This is an excerpt from the book, Blessings by Divine Design, by Barbara Quin, to be published in 2017 by Great Spirit Publishing.)

You Are Everybody and Everybody Holds the Key

unity-for-everyone

 

Everybody is Somebody

It’s interesting to observe the reaction of people when seeing former colleagues, or even distant relatives. Recently, I witnessed a person visiting the place where I work. I’ll call him John. Everyone who passed by John stopped and exclaimed about how good he looked, how great it was to see him, inquired about his activities since retirement, his family, etc., and laughed about previous times shared together. As John went through the building, other workers would stop and call out to him in recognition. Smiles, laughter, handshakes, slaps on the back. All good; all should make John feel good about coming back for a visit, to be so warmly received. Which is usually the goal when visiting a former place of employment or other belonging, like a club or school.

I don’t know John from Adam. I have no idea who he is and have no working relationship with him, so it could have been a meaningless experience for me; I merely observed and let it go. But what it actually did was point out that Everybody is Somebody. Everybody has some measure of influence where they work, go to school or church, etc. They impact the people around them, whether they are aware of it or not, the degree of which depends on how they interact. Are they positive, pleasant, and friendly, or critical, complaining, and micromanaging? How a person interacts with others and shows up day to day will determine the quality of such a reunion.

Have you experienced this? How do you want to be remembered at the place where you work, learn, share, and grow? Remember, you are making an impact not only on the present environment, but you will leave a lasting impression that will ripple back in any future encounter, to be witnessed by others who were not there the first time around.

Always remember:  Everybody leaves no one out. Everybody is Somebody. And YOU are Somebody, too.

 

Everybody is Dealing with Stuff

One of the popular quotes passing through the ethers now, in essence, states, “Be Kind; Everyone You Meet is Fighting a Hard Battle.” While this has been widely mis-attributed to Plato or Philo of Alexandria, amongst other modern writers and philosophers, the actual originator of the statement is believed to be Rev. John Watson, writing as Ian Maclaren, a Scottish author and theologian who lived from 1850 – 1907. His original statement was written as, “Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.”

The purpose of the statement, of course, is to remind us that everybody has stuff to deal with, stuff we know nothing about. I once worked with a young woman I’ll call Mary. Mary was so pleasant and sweet at the office. She had a smile on when she arrived and when she left. I never knew of any difficulties in her life; I even wrote a story for her kids about a little stow-away kitten in her car. Then, one day, Mary announced she was moving to another state. It came to my attention via the office grapevine that she was getting a divorce and leaving a very difficult marriage. Nothing in her demeanor ever reflected the challenges she was facing at home. I admired her strength yet wished I could have provided some kind of emotional support for her. My hope was that Mary excelled in her new job and her life was more blessed than ever. I believe she is the kind of person who would receive a very warm welcome on a visit with former co-workers.

Just because someone is smiling all the time doesn’t mean they don’t have trials and personal battles. And, likewise, just because someone may appear grumpy or cranky, doesn’t mean they are just mean for meanness sake. They may be just having a bad day, or they may be facing tests no one else knows about and they just don’t know how to ask for support or help.

Even you, reading this, have things you are dealing with that likely your closest friends know nothing of, so we can all be reminded of the truth of the words, no matter where they came from, that everyone is dealing with stuff the best way they know how. Let us not judge each other based on first impressions, but seek instead to give each other the benefit of the doubt unless and until proven otherwise.

Above all, if a choice must be made:  Kindness is never a mistake in response to anyone.

 

Everybody is Deserving

You – yes, You – along with Everybody else, are deserving of good things in life. You deserve your dreams to come true. You deserve to have plenty of money to meet your expenses, plenty of food to ensure a sated appetite, and all the things needed to make your life comfortable. You deserve to work at a job you enjoy, to feel you are making a contribution to the Goodness in the world. You deserve to feel your feelings. You deserve health, vitality, happiness, peace, forgiveness, success, and, yes, even You deserve Unconditional Love. Accept that you deserve to receive these things, and let yourself be Blessed to give them to others, too, through your interactions, your attitude, your words, and the way you treat others. And don’t take it too personally when someone responds in a way that surprises you, because you don’t know what they’re dealing with; Everybody also deserves compassion.

Thinking on these things called to mind an old song with the refrain, “Come on, people, now; Smile on your brother; Everybody get together; Try to love one another, Right now” (see link and lyrics below).

If you choose to listen to this song, pay close attention to the lyrics, because they are telling you some of the Secrets of Life:  Love is a song we sing; fear is how we die; we are here but for a moment; listen and you will understand; and You hold the key to love and fear within your hands, the same key that unlocks them both, so it’s up to your command.

Finally, keep this in mind and close in Heart:

You are Somebody.

You are dealing with stuff no one else knows about.

You are Deserving of a great life.

 

Namaste’

 

(click for video and song):  Get Together, by The Youngbloods

 

If you would like to sing along, here are the lyrics to “Get Together,” sung by The Youngbloods, from 1967.

“GET TOGETHER” by The Youngbloods

Love is but a song to sing
Fear’s the way we die
You can make the mountains ring
Or make the angels cry
Though the bird is on the wing
And you may not know why

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Some may come and some may go
We shall surely pass
When the one that left us here
Returns for us at last
We are but a moment’s sunlight
Fading in the grass

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

If you hear the song I sing
You will understand (listen!)
You hold the key to love and fear
All in your trembling hand
Just one key unlocks them both
It’s there at your command

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now

Come on people now
Smile on your brother
Everybody get together
Try to love one another
Right now