(when trying to create a Vision for your life)
It may be necessary for you to relax your ideas about what you think a vision should be.
As you’ve probably realized by now, “should” places a heavy burden upon the shoulders of the person wearing its cloak, a burden that will never be lifted because the wearer keeps allowing things to be added to the pile. One thing to realize about all the “shoulds” in your life: they always come from a source outside your True Self. Your “Still Small Voice” will never tell you what you should do – it’s much more direct than that (if you’re listening to it). It tells you what TO DO.
If you have lived your life according to the “shoulds” of society, family, friends, co-workers, and peers, how might you be feeling right now? A bit overwhelmed? At a loss where to turn or what to do next? Out of control? Anxious? Depressed? Like, if it weren’t for the awesome responsibility your “shoulds” have created, you would just hang it all up (either by just walking away or perhaps, drastically speaking, suicide)? “Suicide by Should” is not the way to go.
You hurt yourself and limit your real abilities when you take on the responsibility of “should.” It creates an expectation you can’t possibly live up to, and then, when you don’t quite measure up, you have “failed.” Is there anything worse than the sense of failure instilled by an unfulfilled “should”? Family and friends are disappointed. Grade cards and annual reviews are not quite as glowing as they “should” have been. Even worse is that deep sense of regret, shame, and guilt – perhaps even anger – you may feel inside when you realize you just can’t cut it, according to “should.”
Then someone comes along and informs you that you “shouldn’t” let this or that have control over you. I trust nowhere in this book will you find a sense of you “should” do this or “shouldn’t” do that. No expectations are being imposed upon you from this side of the page – hopefully, only practical advice and guidance as to how to regain control of your life.
Anytime you feel “out of control” or unable to handle the things happening in your life, it’s because you either haven’t created a vision for your life that you’re committed to, or you’ve lost sight of it somewhere along the way because of some sense of “should” that you’re trying to follow. No matter what kind of trouble you’re having in your life, you can probably trace it back to the basic concept of a vision, or lack thereof. This brings you back again to “visionizing” your life.
But where do you begin?
It may be helpful as you pursue or peruse this vision concept if you simply suspend judgment for the duration. Let go of the “shoulds.” Let go of your expectations and preconceived ideas. It matters little how far you are on the spiritual path compared to your neighbor or your Sunday school teacher or your dad when he was this age. Refrain from judging yourself by any standard. Simply let loose and let go of all the inflexible ideas you’ve held about where you “should” be by now.
(This is an excerpt from the book, Blessings by Divine Design, by Barbara Quin, to be published in 2017 by Great Spirit Publishing.)